Awakened To Tears In The Library. Thanks, Kate Chopin!

There I sat as a senior in high school in our local library, tears streaming down my face. My mom waited outside to take me home, but I needed one more moment to finish this heartbreak. I so connected with Kate Chopin's main character Edna in The Awakening (1899) and now here she was dying. She had everything I dreamed of having in life. Now with graduation approaching, my own adult life was about to start. She had the marriage, the children, the home, the money, the leisure…yet, with it all, she was miserably unhappy and lost. However, Edna had it wrong. Each of these were gifts to enjoy, even with the ups and downs, not just for what they can give to you, but also for what you can give them: your presence.

Edna's presence was exactly what she was taking away, though she never really fully gave it to her loved ones, or even to herself. Her focus was her ego and all of her wants. Now she is walking out to the ocean to end her life. Awakened to how no deed, status or role ever makes you enough.

How could this 126 year old book make me cry? I dreamed of having all this and being all of that. It took me 25 more years with achieving and getting my own before I learned the lesson myself. However, with my own awakening, I have no intention of ending my precious life. Oh, no! I plan on living it full throttle, fully aware of what matters most to me, and living like it matters until my last day. I will be who I want to be. I will embrace what I have been given with what I can give, not what it can give me. I have value to give and none it is dictated by external factors.

I wish I could tell this young mother, "Look within, look to God. You matter because you were created with value. Your love, ideas and contributions are unique to you. You matter to all of us, but only you can choose to see it. Stay alive. Come alive. Let us live each moment as the best version that you can and want to be."

I wish I saw this as a high school senior. I see it now. I see it in you. Let's come alive together. I share the short version of my realizing that I am enough in this Kenough blog post. The longer version with my awakening to my real value in each of my roles and gifts will be released in my upcoming book with the working title Enough: Finding Your Voice When There Is So Much To Do. I want to spread the ideas and moments of realization that helped me find my voice, my value, my vision of living this life with the best version of me in each of these roles and gifts. May you be inspired!

Kate Chopin plaque, New York City library walk: "The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings."